I exist. hehehehehehe

The Pixies

Sun, 15 Nov 2009 12:10:42 GMT

When I was about 13 or 14, I bought a CD at a Goodwill for $1. That CD was a scratched up copy of Surfer Rosa by the Pixies. I didn't like it when I first listened to it, but I listened to it again... then again... and again... and then I liked it. I listened to it more, and soon enough, I loved it. Immensely.

9th grade came, and Joey Santiago was one of my guitar gods, next to Jimi Hendrix and Dick Dale. Frank Black was one of my first vocal and songwriting heroes, now among the likes of Iggy Pop and Lou Reed.

Joey's guitar style is influenced by Jimi Hendrix and Les Paul, but doesn't try hard to sound like them. I don't want to hype it up, because it would cheapen it and make me sound like an ass-kiss. It's really great, though. He's not Yngwie, but he's not Kurt Cobain, either. It's minimalist, while still being complex when needed, and always intriguing. It's anything but clean, yet he uses an exquisite Les Paul instead of a Jazzmaster (which were cheap at the time). He doesn't sound like anyone else, yet many people try to sound like him. When I was 14, I wanted to sound just like him, Jimi Hendrix and Dick Dale combined, but these days, I play without really thinking about it, because forced influence is stupid. He's one of my favorite guitarists.

I got into them just about a year or two before their reunion happened in 2004. My life was changed. I never thought that I would ever get to see them live.

November 12th, 2009: I wait outside the Paramount Theater in Seattle, WA, having just seen Charles Thompson (Frank Black/Black Francis) and David Lovering walk out of the stage door, avoiding fans who are too lazy to chase them down anyway. I'm still waiting, but thinking nothing will become of it. Semi-long story short: Joey Santiago eventually walked out and handed me one of his picks.

He actually used it during the show. I think my friend got the one he used during Vamos, because it was all chewed up on the side like it'd been scraped across the lower strings. Still, Joey handed me a pick. Even though he walked away immediately afterward, not caring about what just happened at all, I feel like I own something awesome. I mean... these will probably show up on eBay or some other place on the internet. The Pixies might even sell them officially. But I got this one directly from a guitarist that I have looked up to for years.

The Pixies are in it for the cash right now. They're reuniting for the same reasons Van Halen and The Rolling Stones have. That's okay with me. I'll never spend this kind of money or go out of my way ever again to see a band, unless the Beatles reunite after raising John and George from the dead. I got to see my favorite band. If I was a billionaire, I'd see every show in the entire tour, and every show after. But I'm poor, and this has already drained me of money and energy. It was worth it, though, because these assholes are legendary.

I think Kim Deal shot me a mean look, but I'm not sure... people tell me it was someone next to me, or no one in particular. Maybe I just misinterpret things when I've just seen my favorite band play their (arguably) best album in its entirety and are about to play a bunch of other songs to top it all off.

I ordered a CD of the same show I saw. I hope they didn't record the weird things I yelled out. Probably not.

Now I have to move on with my life, and that's really hard after I've achieved a dream I never thought would happen.

The Jesus Lizard

Sat, 24 Oct 2009 09:02:55 GMT

Saw the Jesus Lizard.

That's my arm, the one with the black wool sleeve and the blue-white-striped shirt sleeve coming out of it, right above the arm with the owl tattoo (my friend Kayla's arm; oh, btw, he hugged her for like 2 minutes while screaming in her ear).

That was the first song of the set, and he just fucking jumps into the audience. I really hope he doesn't have any diseases, because his sweat got all over us.

He gave Kayla the setlist at the end of the show. He didn't just throw it in the crowd, he handed the list to her, specifically. He also tried to make out with this alterna-chick who was right next to us. She looked shocked, but was also laughing. Later that night, we talked to a waiter at The Roxy who said, "yeah, my girlfriend was there and David Yow tried to stick his tongue in her mouth." Oh, life's little coincidences.

Should we get tested for diseases?

NSFW language at the end. Just warning.

All-in-all, a great experience. They sound amazing live. The mp3's of their songs that I have do NOT do them justice. I should check the vinyl shop next time I have some money. Speaking of which, I saw a copy of Aqualung at EM today. Didn't get it, was in a hurry. I felt regret, but at the same time, fuck Jethro Tull, because I just saw the fucking Jesus Lizard.

Okay, I like Jethro Tull, but seriously, I saw the fucking Jesus Lizard. It changed me.

My neck hurts. So does my chest. And my arms.

Thu, 15 Oct 2009 06:36:37 GMT

I think I made my friend mad. I value friendships, especially ones that make me feel so welcome. I mean, I say a lot of stupid things. That's why I wrote a post and saved it as private, then wrote this one. That was was stupid, this one is neutral.

Did that make sense?

I just hate the way my brain works sometimes. Up until now, she didn't give me shit for stupid things I said. That's rare, I'm an idiot.

Anyway, I feel bad...

Halloween's coming, but I don't really have plans, and I'm sure there will be like 3 or 4 parties I'll want to go to, but I won't have a costume anyway.

I spent the night hunting down a text book. I was going to get it from this woman on craigslist, but I need it tomorrow, so I got impatient and got it at Powell's. I felt bad.

ugh... I have a headache.

Ever meet a person who reminds you of several people, or a state of mind, or an idea?

My LJ icon is seasonal. Isn't that nice? I'm going to look for the Great Pumpkin this year.

Fri, 02 Oct 2009 10:29:21 GMT

This was going to be a comment to my last post, but it got too long and off-topic. It starts off sounding like a comment for my last post, which is what it was.

This post [meaning the last one] was more personal than I'm used to. I'm sorry.

I guess I could do something [celebrating my birthday in a not lame way], but I've got two art project type things to do this weekend, my dad wants to celebrate my b-day with cake and presents, and I'm seeing a movie at Cinema 21 at 12:30 on Saturday.

I'm not sad about celebrating my 21st with cake and presents... it's just, it's like I'm still 12, getting cartoon DVDs and Steve Martin CDs. Actually, age 12, I'd be asking for Weezer merchandise or Jhonen Vasquez comics or something else I don't do anymore.

I went downtown today to see if I could get in anywhere after midnight. Ground Kontrol said no, and all the other bars were intimidating to me. I'm not even ready to be 21, or even over the age of 0, probably. I'm not ready for life. I need to have my hormones removed and live in a box where I make cartoons all day. Only then will I achieve anything.

I'd celebrate, but I'm just getting in everyone else's way and wasting my own time as well. My b-day just had to be at the beginning of the school year. In fact, I should really just focus on school and forget about everyone.

blah blah blah, yeah, I'm moping and feeling sorry for myself. I don't care, I'm done. I tried to celebrate, twice, and now I give up. I'm just not that guy. I'm supposed to live this way. I'm supposed to make alternative comics that hipsters read and laugh at and go "aww" at, while they screw eight people in their Hawthorne apartment while high on PCP, mescaline, and Laffy Taffy. That's not a code name for a drug, it's a candy. They'll put my minicomics in a shoe box next to their pile of Velvet Underground and Le Tigre albums, and a stray copy of Confederacy of Dunces, gathering dust.

Soon they'll throw it all away to switch over to whatever trend comes next, because it's almost 2010, and the fad has to die soon. It's been around since, what, 1998? You could go as far back as 1995 or something, since the whole pointless movement started out with retro kids who liked purple things and metal lunchboxes during high school. Those kids grew up and didn't change their ways. Or younger kids imitated it. Whatever. You could go back as far as 198?, when bad fashion was acceptable, but not really cool, contrasting with now, when bad fashion is cool to a lot of people, but not everyone.

What was I talking about?

I guess my point is that I only use LJ when I want to talk about things that normal people deal with in a more healthy way.

No, wait.

My point is that I'm feeling too sorry for myself to have any fun, and winter just hit, so my OCD, anxiety, and depression are all kicking in and making me hate everyone. Deep down, I love people, but I don't understand them, and when summer ends, I start to not care. I'm avoiding people. Large crowds and cute girls especially, but really all people.

online, so why not

Thu, 01 Oct 2009 04:40:00 GMT

I'm logged into LJ, so why not do a post? Only half my friends will actually see this. Only two of them will actually read it. Maybe three.

I'm 21 in two days. When that day comes, it's straight to Ground Kontrol after 7pm. Will I get drunk enough on Pabst to strike up a conversation with a cute geeky girl?

Perhaps...

Will I find love?

In a hipster video arcade? What are you, 12 years old? Of course not, you twit!

Will I at least get laid?

Dude. It's a video arcade.

That's the dialogue going in my head between Zach and Zach.

Other things in Zach's overactive imagination:

Hey, a 21st b-day where I go bar hopping and get free drinks and lap dances would be great! Until the stripper uses my low self esteem to hustle me and I get arrested and then my friends disown me and make me pay for all of their drinks... oh well, not all my friends are 21 anyway, so it wouldn't be fair.

Another one:

Hey, I should throw a party! I'll invite everyone! Wait, but Zandi/David/Cori's place is too small. Corey/Micah/Richard's place is too out of the way. What if the people I invite don't like eachother? What if they fight? It's not even my own house, it would be a disaster! I guess I should cancel... it would be a relief for everyone, I bet.

These go on and on and on and it's fucking annoying. This guy makes Woody Allen look like the Fonz, multiplied by Jimi Hendrix's guitar skills, coolness skills, and lady skills all combined...

Maybe I will strike up a conversation with a cute geek girl... even if she is just some hipster who doesn't know what a gigabyte is and is too drunk to see my Luke Skywalker mullet.

Daria's Speech

Sat, 14 Mar 2009 08:06:56 GMT

At the end of Is It College Yet?, Daria gives this speech:

"Um... thank you. I'm not much for public speaking, or much for speaking, or, come to think of it, much for the public. And I'm not very good at lying. So let me just say that, in my experience, high school sucks. If I had to do it all over again, I'd have started advanced placement classes in preschool so I could go from eighth grade straight to college. However, given the unalterable fact that high school sucks, I'd like to add that if you're lucky enough to have a good friend and a family that cares, it doesn't have to suck quite as much. Otherwise, my advice is: stand firm for what you believe in, until and unless logic and experience prove you wrong; remember, when the emperor looks naked, the emperor is naked; the truth and a lie are not "sort of the same thing"; and there is no aspect, no facet, no moment of life that can't be improved with pizza. Thank you."

I think I might live by these statements. Of course, minus the parts about high school. It still works though. I mean, it makes perfect sense to me.

Education

Tue, 24 Feb 2009 02:08:02 GMT

Sometimes I feel like I need to focus on my education outside of academia. School is important, but there is much for me to learn outside of it.

I am still living with parents, and have no job. I don't care how bad the economy is, I'm going to search for a job, beginning at the end of spring term. I don't care if I don't find a job for two more years as long as I get one. I don't care how long it takes.

I need to learn what it is like to work an actual job. Not just working with kids at a summer camp, but dealing with weirdo customers and mean bosses. Okay, so in an ideal situation, I'd want to avoid those things, but what I'm saying is I need to grow up some day. I'm 20. I'm not planning on getting my own place until I actually have the money, and getting your own place is freaking expensive these days, but I need to do something, even if it all happens very... very... slowly... I just need to do it, you know?

I know people are busy, and my lj isn't really all that interesting to most people anyway, but I needed to have these facts up somewhere. Having these ideas repeating in my head doesn't do anything. Talking about it doesn't do anything. Writing about it on lj doesn't do much either. Actually doing it is what's important. But I guess having it written down and floating in cyberspace will give me the pressure to follow through with it.

There's enough reason to follow through with it, though. The fear that I will still be a child at the age of 30 motivates me to do what I can to grow up and get out there.

Of course, there's nothing wrong staying with parents for a while. I'm just really scared I'll lose track of time. I don't even really know what's out there.

This post has exceeded the limit of length for people to actually stop and read it. I forgot how LJ cuts work.

Anyone got any spare hugs?

Tue, 27 Jan 2009 12:10:29 GMT

Uhhhhhhhhh

There's always someone with more shit than you. (This is actually true.) It doesn't matter how depressed you are. If you're depressed, you should feel guilty. If you've made an effort to be a better person, you should be punished for it.

Live Journal. It's the #1 place to complain and whine and be emo. We all know this. It's been this way for a decade. Holy shit, a decade.

But everyone whines about shit now. We can't differentiate between real and fake shit. I have the same problem with my Attention Defacit Disorder. I mostly deal with it myself these days, but it was hard in public school, because ADD and Autism diagnoses were being handed out like valentine candy back then. So how can you tell the kids with real disorders from the irresponsible, spoiled emo kids?

Anyway, I'm in a shitty mood. I don't know who I am, I don't trust anyone, I don't know how to deal with people. I'm not even sure if I like people, yet I'm lonely. I'm confused. I've gone this whole time hoping I would discover what love is, or that I'd know love when I see it. Now I have no idea and I feel like I never will.

I don't know how to make my own decisions. I've been trying to figure it out. Rhetorically, I feel like I'm okay at it. Actually going about what I say I'm going to do is different, because I'm already invested in a way of life. I like what I have and I don't want to fuck it up, yet I know I can do better, not just for myself, but for people around me.

People around me. Friends? I wish. I feel mislead.

Yeah... I don't have friends, really.

I dunno. I'm listening to Mitch Hedberg now, so I'm feeling better, but I'm still confused and depressed. It's 3:44 AM.

Why am I writing this? No one cares. We all avoid the whiney LJ posts like the plague. I'm disabling comments for shits and giggles. No one cares, so I'm disabling comments. Yeah............

I was put on this earth to be hated. Everything wrong with me is all my fault. I'm not even kidding. It's all my fault. Every problem.

I guess I'd better enjoy how shitty my life is. In the end, there's always someone with a shittier life, so I can't complain. I really can't. The moment I do, I'm an asshole, because there's some kid who has every mental problem, is starving, and has been raped.

We are all so insignificant. The earth itself is a speck, and we're just a bunch of specks that are stuck to it by gravity.

In the world, there are billions of people. Few people actually benefit mankind, while the rest of us just try to stay alive. Most of us just sit around and do nothing.

So I am nothing. You are nothing. We're all nothing. You've heard this before.

I'm still listening to Mitch Hedberg, and it's still funny. Life isn't so bad. But I still don't feel like I belong anywhere, or have any friends.

Capitalism's Bullies

Wed, 17 Dec 2008 19:46:26 GMT

Read this. Here's an easier-to-read article about it.

Are they the best pieces of animation on this planet? No. Are they treasured and remembered by people nation-wide? Yes. Rankin/Bass gave America such holiday specials as Rudolph, Frosty the Snowman, Santa Claus is Coming to Town, Jack Frost, Little Drummer Boy, and Here Comes Peter Cottontail. The latter was a childhood favorite of mine, and I watched it whether it was Easter or not.
They're also responsible for The Hobbit and Return of the King animated films that filled in what Ralph Bakshi didn't cover in Lord of the Rings (before Peter Jackson came along). And yes, they also produced Thundercats, which was a very popular Saturday Morning Cartoon of the 80's.

Okay, so I didn't watch Thundercats growing up. I'm a child of the 90's, and the only 80's cartoon leftover I got was Muppet Babies. But the problem at hand is that Warner Bros owes Rankin/Bass millions of dollars, and they won't give it to them because of "limitations," due to an "accounting mistake."

WTF

I think that's a little more than an accounting mistake, and I think they deserve their money, after giving America some of the most beloved animated specials, and also selling over a million copies of the Thundercats DVDs.

Worst. Birthday Present. Ever.

Thu, 03 Jul 2008 06:08:20 GMT

Check it out here. It's painful, but there's a reward at the end.

Heal Emru

Fri, 04 Apr 2008 11:21:54 GMT

Heal Emru!

Emru Townsend has been diagnosed with Leukemia, but is still going on with the show and updating his amazing website, FPS Magazine (or Frames Per Second Magazine).

I have not met him, but I talked briefly with his sister, Tamu, who was one of the nicest people I encountered at the Platform International Animation Festival.

Both Emru and Tamu have an undying love for animation-- anyone who reads FPS Magazine will know that. It is informative and unbiased, which is exactly what you need to see after reading Cartoon Brew, another great animation website, but much more overwhelming to read. Amid Amidi, one of Cartoon Brew's "Brewmasters" is a great critic, but a harsh one at times.

FPS Magazine is a great website, and Emru is someone who truly understands and loves the medium of animation.

So what can you do?

Join your local bone marrow registry, and tell everyone you know. You will not only be helping Emru, but thousands of others who need transplants. It also doesn't matter what part of the world you live in.

Visit the Heal Emru website for more information.

And if you haven't checked out FPS Magazine, do yourself a favor and do so, it's a great website and publication. I check it every day.

PS - If this is something you are physically unable to do, that is understandable. However, if you are afraid of donating bone marrow, you should seriously look into it, because there are a lot of myths about how the donation process works. In reality, to determine marrow compatibility, it can be as little as a cheek swab, or a blood sample. So look into it, please.

thank you

Unorganized thoughts...

Thu, 23 Aug 2007 01:05:53 GMT

This is totally unorganized.

I know no one reads this, but I have to get this out of my mind for now.

Mental illness is widely misunderstood. The term "mental illness" itself is misleading, causing people to think that things like Autism or Aspergers are "diseases," which is wrong. They are disorders. If someone has one of these disorders, they just act and think differently. That's all it is, and people with these disorders are often capable of living normal lives.

There is this really stupid idea that autism is some sort of epidemic. I saw this on the news, which I'm sure was just something they put together because they had nothing else to talk about.

Autism is not an epidemic, and it does not have a cure, nor does it need one. There will never be a cure, and any (good) psychologist or specialist will tell you that such a thing is impossible.

There are medications, but that's it. I'm not going to get into medication, because that's a whole different issue. And a controversial one.

I actually have Autism Spectrum, as well as A.D.D.. There are some who say these mental disorders are a myth. They also happen to be the people who don't do research or have the disorder themselves. Unless they themselves have the disorder, I advise these people to either shut up or do some research. Those who say they have a disorder but actually don't are a totally different problem. But they're a big problem, and part of the reason there are so many misconceptions.

There are people who have social issues, and people who have short attention spans, people who can focus on things for long periods of time, and there are also people who are just stupid. Keep that in mind. People can be one or more of those things, whether they have a mental disorder or not.

I think that's all I wanted to say. This is mostly a post for myself.

whoa, updatey thing

Sun, 04 Feb 2007 21:55:40 GMT

So I don't post much anymore... and neither do a lot of people. Last time I even mentioned LJ to someone was to Holly, who said she never had time to check hers anymore. And I don't either. And neither do most high school seniors.

So, I'm taking this chance to use LJ as a place to post my own ideas that I want to remember later, with a minimal chance of people actually seeing them. Sure, I could use the private security feature, but I don't make sense in the first place anyway.

So... I realized something. I realized that essays on animation are harder than essays for English.
And here's why:
When you write a paper for English, it is assumed that the reader has read the material (even if you yourself didn't read it and just looked at the Cliffs/Spark Notes). So, eliminating that part of the paper makes it easier.
Writing one of my capstone things involves explaining everything. If I explain why Chuck Jones or Don Hertzfeldt are geniuses of using holds, I have to explain what a hold is. Then I have to explain how animation works to explain that. Sometimes there is so much explaining within explaining within explaining that I get confused with my own writing.

Anyway, I realize now that I'm just writing the paper wrong... I have no idea why I decided to post any of this.

Thu, 30 Nov 2006 22:13:11 GMT

I have a new blog for less teen angst-influenced writing...

CheckeredGeek Cartoons

Comedy SportZ Again

Tue, 31 Oct 2006 21:33:19 GMT

So, every year, I post on my LJ when my next Comedy SportZ show is going to be, but I always do it too late for anyone to see it or have time for it, and so nobody ever comes to any of them. At this point, I think the rest of the people there probably think I have no friends. Oh well.
I could advertise for it at school with posters and stuff, but then all I'm doing is advertising myself and a bunch of people who don't go to this school. It makes me feel weird.

Oh well, whatever, here's my next show: (WOOOO HOOOO)

Saturday Nov 4, 2:00 PM at Comedy SportZ (It's $5 per person)
It's on 19th and Kearney in Portland.

Uh oh... I reeeeeeally hope that isn't the same day as Julie's art show, because when ever I have a Comedy SportZ show or my birthday, there always seems to be something on the same day that I know people should choose over whatever I have planned. I mean, I'm just going to be making a fool of myself on stage for a couple hours. But Julie is going to have a show, and I mean, everyone knows Julie is one of the best artists at ACMA, there's no argument there. Her work is just amazing, and like all good art, it makes me cry. The only other artist whose art has made me cry more is Hayao Miyazaki (followed by Richard Williams, Frederic Back, Chuck Jones, and my own obsession with all the aformentioned people and many others).

Anyway, my point is...
If you can come to my show, that's great, because the bigger the audience, the better the show. But, if Julie's show is on the same day, by all means, GO! Go see Julie, because I'm going to have more shows after January, and Julie is just a great artist.

Um... wow, that whole thing was really dramatic, and odds are, Julie's show is on a different day. I mean, I intend to go if I can, so yeah...
Um... wow... dramatic...

I'm not crazy!
No, wait, I am.

I'm going to be Edward Scissorhands for Halloween tonight. That'll be interesting. Oh, and that means I have to shave. I don't want to, but Edward doesn't have a goatee! BAH

I'm done.

Art School Crap

Sat, 21 Oct 2006 04:27:35 GMT

I want to go to art school.

I can sort of draw. I just don't try hard enough, and I need to do more of it. I need to draw whenever I can. The problem is drawing something and not being embarassed about it. Often times, I put away my sketchbook when I'm in public because I don't want them to see how much trouble I'm having constructing figures and faces and whatnot.

I want to try harder, I have to. I want to learn to draw and paint and I want to go to PNCA.

But I ultimately want to be an animator. I just have to do all this other shit first.

My dad is being really helpful in getting me an internship at Laika (it's an animation company). Maybe it will actually happen.

Or something like that.

I think that's all I was going to say.

Today Is My Day?

Mon, 16 Oct 2006 16:01:43 GMT

Hello, folks. That is, if you read my LJ.

     I have decided to stay home today for several reasons:
1. I feel sick. (I should finish reading that comic someday)
2. I have work I need to do.
3. I need extra sleep.
4. I am a lazy senior.

     So, I am going to try to get work done today. Animators are supposed to work hard and I've been way too lazy.

     I thought this post would say more, but it's turning out to just be weird and incoherent.

     I got Ren and Stimpy: the Lost Episodes on DVD, and I must say, although I love the older style of animation much better than this new digital style, there is some good stuff here. There are also interviews with John Kricfalusi and other people from the Spumco studio, which really explain a lot about what they believe as a community of animators. Although they might seem a bit misguided and biased by certain opinions about animation (such as animation being about nothing but an outlet for gags for cheap laughs, as long as they're animated well), they are all artists, entitled to their opinions, and they do some good work. It may also make me shudder a bit that they have part of the animation done in Korea, but it doesn't show that much, except for a brief sequence in a cartoon called Naked Beach Frenzy where one of the many cute girls delivers her dialogue without moving her lips. In fact, her mouth just hangs open, if I remember correctly. Then again, I thought this was just a stylistic choice, but the supplemental materials say it was not intended.

     I have also been watching a lot of Rocky and Bullwinkle, Animaniacs, and in particular, some old cartoons by Ub Iwerks, Hugh Harman, Tex Avery, Bob Clampett, Chuck Jones, and other old-timer cartoon creators. More importantly, Holly brought to my attention a remarkable film by master animator Richard Williams (multiple Oscar-winning animation director of Who Framed Roger Rabbit). The film is The Thief and the Cobbler, and after 26 years in the making, with help from such animation greats as Ken Harris (Chuck Jones's right hand man) and Art Babbit (one of Disney's greatest and overlooked animators), it is what arguably could have been the greatest animated film of all time. In fact, you could call it the greatest animated film of all time. The only problem is that it was never finished. But that is a long story I wish not to discuss.

     For more information, do a Google search. You can also go to YouTube to watch the entire "recobbled" version of the movie. The "recobbled" film was pieced together using bootlegs of the lost footage, storyboards, pencil tests, and the footage that was either finished by Williams's studio, or that was animated by other studios, yet still conformed to what Williams wanted, visually (much of the American release of the film was butchered and animated by various people, including the typical Korean studios, Don Bluth's studio, and several other places around the world). Although this cut of the film is a "bootleg," it is only taking money away from Miramax and the other corporate people who botched the film. This is the closest thing to what Williams really wanted, and I don't think he'd mind anyone watching it. By the way, to give you an idea of how bad the film was after Miramax shuffled the scenes and dubbed over unnecesary voices, among other things, think of the original American release of Hayao Miyazaki's Nausicaa of the Valley of the Wind, released as Warriors of the Wind. Only worse. Yeah. Bad. Very bad.

     Anyway, thanks to Holly for telling me about Thief. Seriously.

     The point of all this is that I think I'm getting somewhere with this Capstone crap. My CDQ was awful, my research proposal was okay, but I think I'm onto something now. How about a website documenting my research and own animation projects? I think this is a good idea, although "net neutrality" does interfere.

     Anyway, I have work to do.

     And yes, Lily, you're right. I do talk about animation every other entry I post. I really am obsessed. Oh well.

By the way, there's no way in hell I'm spell checking this.

Shit

Thu, 21 Sep 2006 01:57:31 GMT

I ate a fortune cookie today, and the fortune said that I would make good decisions today. It should be noted that this was a fortune cookie from the school cafiteria, which explains why the fortune was so full of shit.

Eating shit-filled fortune cookies is totally not cool.

On a less disgusting note, I love Lily to my death. Unfortunately, we will not see eachother for a year when she leaves for South Africa in late January (or early February, I'm not sure). I'm going to miss her very much. During this time, we're going to see other people, because a year is too long for our teenage minds and whatnot. But I'll always love you, Lily. I'm going to miss you so much when you leave.

Today, I said that my capstone project's central dramatic question should be "Why am I so creepy?" Then people told me I wasn't, and Ellie told me I was "endearing!" I had to look that word up though to make sure it was as complementary as I thought it was. I'm not used to that, you know. It's not often someone tells me I have the abilty "to become beloved or admired." (According to Marium Webster.)

People do think I'm creepy though. I mean, when I forget to shave for two weeks, that's kinda creepy. And I say really awkward things ALL the time. I mean, why would you not think I was creepy? I guess I'm just not creepy because I don't grab boobs, at least, not without consent. There are certain men at my school who will grab the breast(s) of one of their female peers, which is clearly innappropriate. Seriously, what the fuck.

I think I'm done now.

Thank you.

Anger sakdjgk;sldg BAGSKAFHL:K326$$$&*(

Mon, 18 Sep 2006 23:53:29 GMT

I'm sorry this isn't in an LJ cut.

So it turns out that "Grendel, Grendel, Grendel" was not directed by Terry Gilliam, or as Alby refered to him, "the guy who did the Monty Python animations."

I think he corrected himself at one point.

Also, Daniel (not the religion-obsessed one, the other arrogant one who thinks he's amazing and corrects everyone on whatever they say) thinks stop motion animation is cool and he's gonna do it because he thinks he can do everything. Like a few years ago when he said he could make a movie because he knew "what shots look good."

It was like he'd rather just automatically know everything instead of being curious or learning. He wasn't logical.

I think people assume things a lot. I think people don't want to have to work hard, but at the same time, they want excitement. And I think that people don't want to work hard, but they might want other people do something that takes more effort than they themselves, or anyone for that matter, are capable of.

People want excitement...
but they also want it easy.

Who doesn't...?

I don't mean to generalize, and I know that I'm guilty of at least a few things I just mentioned. I just think that the way we live, surrounded by advertising and reality TV and other random crappy media, we get the idea that life is a certain way. Some of us interpret it differently, but it's still coming from the same source.

I know people who have gone most of their childhood without TV, and they are the most interesting people with the most interesting view of life. Totally unique. Perhaps they don't know about a few things, a few social trends or phenomena. But who cares? They may not be exposed to popular culture, but they're exposed to culture of some sort. It's a beautiful thing, culture. You can be totally naive of it and still love it. Maybe you can't understand it yet, but you appreciate it, and you love it. Like my relationship with jazz. I love jazz. I can't play it, I don't understand it, but I love it, and I appreciate it.

I watched a lot of TV when I was little. My mom didn't want me too, but she couldn't stop me, and my dad didn't care one way or another. Of course, I latched onto the cartoons, and nothing else. I remember I would rarely watch anything that was live action. I might change the channel and look for another cartoon instead. Cept for "Salute Your Shorts," I loved that show. Course, I didn't have cable that long, which is good because cable is a waste of money.

I feel like it's 9th grade all over again, because I'm suddenly discovering again how stupid people can be. I know a lot of smart people, but I see a lot of stupid ones too.

Why do people only want to posess physical things and not posess something substantial. Something mental. Knowledge. Not something you learn in school, or maybe it is, I dunno, but something that stays with you and makes you understand the world better. Nobody wants that. We just want to get our drugs, our sex, our video games, our alcohol, and then die. Kids want their toys, teenagers want their gut-busting orgasms and weed from Germany. Meaningless desire.

As if adolescence isn't enough grief, we had to go to school too. Remember that? And maybe it's still not over yet.

My thoughts here are random, and I'm not going to re-organize them or even spell check them.

Not because I don't want to, I just don't have time, because I have to take the dog for a walk before my dad gets home.

grendel

Thu, 24 Aug 2006 01:00:51 GMT

I tried to find info on that Terry Gilliam movie that Mr. Albertson told us about called Grendel, but I couldn't find anything.
Then I found this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QKym_sb0pw0
Mr. Albertson needs to see it.

obsession; stuff; animation; reanimation; frankenstein; cliche

Sun, 20 Aug 2006 00:22:13 GMT

I just realized that what I am going to say is cliche. Also, please excuse any poor writing that follows, because there's seriously something wrong with my brain right now. It almost feels like freshman year. Holy crap.

I should have read Frankenstein over the summer. Not because it was on my summer reading list, mind you, but because I have just encountered...

A monster.

Ever since I decided to get that copy of Coal Black, I've slowly fallen deeper into a stressful self-absorbed world of animation, collecting animation, and eBay.

I'll explain how the stress first came about: Coal Black (if you don't know what it is, read my previous post) is probably one of the most rare and most coveted animated films in the history of animation. Besides the racial content, censorship issues, and other controversy surrounding this shockingly strange (but surprisingly beautifully animated) cartoon short, its value and rarity is due to the fact that Warner Bros only released 50 35mm prints of it in the first place. In fact, they did the same with most of their cartoons, with the exception of Old Glory, which had a special 150 prints released, but that's another story.

[Note from Zach: If you tried to read those confusing and poorly constructed sentences, you must be bored. Or have no life. But since my friends generally do have lives, and I'm assuming you're my friend, you're probably just bored.]

Anyway, the point is that Coal Black probably has less than 50 35mm prints in existence, since at least a few had to have been destroyed by now. The ones that remain aren't all in very good condition, most likely.

What I'm bidding on is a 16mm print in what seems to be decent condition. From my research and educated guesses, I'm going to assume that 16mm prints were either made by smaller theaters (and I spell theater the American way this one time simply because Michael Barrier somehow posessed a piece of my brain too) in the 40's, or crazy animation junkies like me who had the stuff to do it converted it from 35mm a few decades later, about the time when people were figuring out what was going to happen to this cartoon.

So now, I'm not as worried about this whole auction. Any print or any copy of Coal Black in general is rare, and this one is particularly rare, but if I don't get it, at least I'll have a good story to tell... okay, it's a lame story, but at least I'll have something. The thing is, I didn't come to this attitude easily. Since the day I found the eBay ad, I slowly became more obsessed with getting it, obsessed with how to get it, obsessed with the value, obsessed with how to snipe it on eBay, how to get it some alternative way on eBay, obsessed, obsessed, obsessed.

My life was taken over by the obsession, enter the monster. How freaking cliche.

Add to this my dad and step-mom who hover over me as much as they can (minus my time on LJ) and I've run into a problem when my favorite girl in the world (Lily) tries to talk to me. I talk to her on the phone for a bit, but my parents are near and I'm cleaning the bathroom. I don't want my dad to get mad and take away my phone or something like that (it happens, they're crazy parents).
So I tell her I have to go and eventually I do.
Later, I have to do my reading, and the alienating parents scenario applied here too when Lily tried to call me then.
Finally, my parents are gone and I'm online looking at original freaking drawings from the animated film Wizards, one of Bakshi's better films. I get a call from Lily, and I want to talk, but that obsession has posessed me, and all it can do is eBay. By the way, eBay is now a verb too.

We finally talked on AIM and I understand now that I don't pay enough attention to her. So um..

Crap, I have to go to a luao! I spelled that wrong I'm sure.

HOLY CRAP

Wed, 16 Aug 2006 22:10:35 GMT

Oh God... Holy crap!
I think I know my new hobby, but... it's very expensive!
I found these things on eBay:

http://cgi.ebay.com/Vintage-16mm-Film-Animation-Cartoon-Dumb-Like-a-Fox_W0QQitemZ9130008454QQihZ011QQcategoryZ63821QQssPageNameZWD1VQQrdZ1QQcmdZViewItem

http://cgi.ebay.com/16mm-COAL-BLACK-AND-DE-SEBBEN-DWARFS-racist-RARE-music_W0QQitemZ330018798792QQihZ014QQcategoryZ63821QQssPageNameZWDVWQQrdZ1QQcmdZViewItem

They're 16mm film reels of old cartoons from the 30's and 40's!
The first one is a cartoon I've never heard of called Dumb Like a Fox, and I can't seem to find any information on it anywhere. The IMDb page has nothing on it, and it doesn't even say who directed it or even what studio produced it! http://imdb.com/title/tt0148091/

The second film is a cartoon by Bob Clampett, called Coal Black and de Sebben Dwarfs. Needless to say, the cartoon is offensive and a bit frightening, but it's also one of the most rare and fascinating cartoons of the 1940s! I can't believe there are still people with copies of it on freakin' 16mm film! If you read the links below though, you'll find out that at the time, it was actually a tribute to the jazz scene of the 1940s, and even today, if you manage to see the cartoon, you'll notice that despite being drawn in blackface, the characters are anything but portrayed as sub-human, and are full of character. Clampett even insisted that the cast be all African American, many of them voiced by the jazz musicians they were based on. Finally, this cartoon is one of the most fast-paced, most exquisitly animated, beautifully drawn (minus the blackface) cartoons in Warner Bros animation history, maybe even animation history in general. Yes, the racist caricatures are offensive or at least a bit disturbing, but when you keep in mind the context, and what Bob Clampett was trying to do, it is a great cartoon.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Coal_Black_and_de_Sebben_Dwarfs
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0035743/

This is something that's been on my mind lately: racism in the 1930s and 40's. Nobody knew they were being racist back then, and we're ashamed of it now. Every copy of Coal Black, every copy of Disney's Song of the South, or anything like that, is hidden away.
We should not be proud of these films, but we shoudn't be ashamed either, and we shouldn't destroy all the evidence. If we did, we'd be lying about our country's past. If you've seen the movie, Ghost World, you'll know what I'm talking about... maybe...

Oh well... I guess I'm pretty weird.

I have one more thing to say about those racist cartoons: There were only 11 that were banned from TV, on a list known as the "Censored Eleven." But what about all the other cartoons? They've since added more cartoons to the list, but for some reason they still haven't added cartoons that are offensive to people from the Middle East, or in the case of this cartoon, people of Japanese decent. You don't have to watch that cartoon, I know I couldn't. Seriously, the cartoon is GOD AWFUL. So why is it not on the list? I have no idea.

Interestingly enough, I also found someone's YouTube account, and all he has on it are the last 4 of the "Censored Eleven" cartoons that YouTube hasn't taken down. I can't blame YouTube for taking them down, and I respect them for it, but I have a suspiscion that Coal Black was probably taken down due to copyright issues rather than racism, leaving YouTube with All this and Rabbit Stew and Jungle Jitters, which are probably two of the most offensive ones on the list.

I don't know... this was going to be a post about my new expensive hobby of collecting film reels of vintage animation, but it turned into a depressing rant about racism. For some reason, it took me until now to remember that there was an episode of Drawn Together that discussed this whole issue. I wish I could get ahold of that episode, because it handled it quite well.
I should spell check this... but I don't have time...
I hate racism.

Good times, good times!

Sun, 13 Aug 2006 03:43:21 GMT

Hey, anyone who went to Ghoma's party that one time, remember this?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xU83QHYu7WI

Oh man, I wasn't there when you saw it, but yeah, it was my tape! Heheh, good times...

Sex will save the rain forest?

Fri, 23 Jun 2006 06:45:57 GMT

This is kinda fucked up. No pun intended. Please don't ask me how I found this.

http://pub.tv2.no/nettavisen/english/article250240.ece

Alien Pencil Test

Tue, 20 Jun 2006 03:12:47 GMT

It's a pencil test for the animated short I'm working on.

I exist. *hehehehehehe*