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Sunday, November 15th, 2009
4:10 am - The Pixies
When I was about 13 or 14, I bought a CD at a Goodwill for $1. That CD was a scratched up copy of Surfer Rosa by the Pixies. I didn't like it when I first listened to it, but I listened to it again... then again... and again... and then I liked it. I listened to it more, and soon enough, I loved it. Immensely.

9th grade came, and Joey Santiago was one of my guitar gods, next to Jimi Hendrix and Dick Dale. Frank Black was one of my first vocal and songwriting heroes, now among the likes of Iggy Pop and Lou Reed.

Joey's guitar style is influenced by Jimi Hendrix and Les Paul, but doesn't try hard to sound like them. I don't want to hype it up, because it would cheapen it and make me sound like an ass-kiss. It's really great, though. He's not Yngwie, but he's not Kurt Cobain, either. It's minimalist, while still being complex when needed, and always intriguing. It's anything but clean, yet he uses an exquisite Les Paul instead of a Jazzmaster (which were cheap at the time). He doesn't sound like anyone else, yet many people try to sound like him. When I was 14, I wanted to sound just like him, Jimi Hendrix and Dick Dale combined, but these days, I play without really thinking about it, because forced influence is stupid. He's one of my favorite guitarists.

I got into them just about a year or two before their reunion happened in 2004. My life was changed. I never thought that I would ever get to see them live.

November 12th, 2009: I wait outside the Paramount Theater in Seattle, WA, having just seen Charles Thompson (Frank Black/Black Francis) and David Lovering walk out of the stage door, avoiding fans who are too lazy to chase them down anyway. I'm still waiting, but thinking nothing will become of it. Semi-long story short: Joey Santiago eventually walked out and handed me one of his picks.

Dreams come true yes it's joeys guitar pick

He actually used it during the show. I think my friend got the one he used during Vamos, because it was all chewed up on the side like it'd been scraped across the lower strings. Still, Joey handed me a pick. Even though he walked away immediately afterward, not caring about what just happened at all, I feel like I own something awesome. I mean... these will probably show up on eBay or some other place on the internet. The Pixies might even sell them officially. But I got this one directly from a guitarist that I have looked up to for years.

The Pixies are in it for the cash right now. They're reuniting for the same reasons Van Halen and The Rolling Stones have. That's okay with me. I'll never spend this kind of money or go out of my way ever again to see a band, unless the Beatles reunite after raising John and George from the dead. I got to see my favorite band. If I was a billionaire, I'd see every show in the entire tour, and every show after. But I'm poor, and this has already drained me of money and energy. It was worth it, though, because these assholes are legendary.

I think Kim Deal shot me a mean look, but I'm not sure... people tell me it was someone next to me, or no one in particular. Maybe I just misinterpret things when I've just seen my favorite band play their (arguably) best album in its entirety and are about to play a bunch of other songs to top it all off.

I ordered a CD of the same show I saw. I hope they didn't record the weird things I yelled out. Probably not.

Now I have to move on with my life, and that's really hard after I've achieved a dream I never thought would happen.

current mood: melancholy

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Saturday, October 24th, 2009
1:37 am - The Jesus Lizard
Saw the Jesus Lizard.


That's my arm, the one with the black wool sleeve and the blue-white-striped shirt sleeve coming out of it, right above the arm with the owl tattoo (my friend Kayla's arm; oh, btw, he hugged her for like 2 minutes while screaming in her ear).

That was the first song of the set, and he just fucking jumps into the audience. I really hope he doesn't have any diseases, because his sweat got all over us.

He gave Kayla the setlist at the end of the show. He didn't just throw it in the crowd, he handed the list to her, specifically. He also tried to make out with this alterna-chick who was right next to us. She looked shocked, but was also laughing. Later that night, we talked to a waiter at The Roxy who said, "yeah, my girlfriend was there and David Yow tried to stick his tongue in her mouth." Oh, life's little coincidences.

Should we get tested for diseases?

NSFW language at the end. Just warning.

All-in-all, a great experience. They sound amazing live. The mp3's of their songs that I have do NOT do them justice. I should check the vinyl shop next time I have some money. Speaking of which, I saw a copy of Aqualung at EM today. Didn't get it, was in a hurry. I felt regret, but at the same time, fuck Jethro Tull, because I just saw the fucking Jesus Lizard.

Okay, I like Jethro Tull, but seriously, I saw the fucking Jesus Lizard. It changed me.

My neck hurts. So does my chest. And my arms.

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Wednesday, October 14th, 2009
11:24 pm
I think I made my friend mad. I value friendships, especially ones that make me feel so welcome. I mean, I say a lot of stupid things. That's why I wrote a post and saved it as private, then wrote this one. That was was stupid, this one is neutral.

Did that make sense?

I just hate the way my brain works sometimes. Up until now, she didn't give me shit for stupid things I said. That's rare, I'm an idiot.

Anyway, I feel bad...

Halloween's coming, but I don't really have plans, and I'm sure there will be like 3 or 4 parties I'll want to go to, but I won't have a costume anyway.

I spent the night hunting down a text book. I was going to get it from this woman on craigslist, but I need it tomorrow, so I got impatient and got it at Powell's. I felt bad.

ugh... I have a headache.

Ever meet a person who reminds you of several people, or a state of mind, or an idea?

My LJ icon is seasonal. Isn't that nice? I'm going to look for the Great Pumpkin this year.

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Friday, October 2nd, 2009
3:20 am
This was going to be a comment to my last post, but it got too long and off-topic. It starts off sounding like a comment for my last post, which is what it was.

This post [meaning the last one] was more personal than I'm used to. I'm sorry.

I guess I could do something [celebrating my birthday in a not lame way], but I've got two art project type things to do this weekend, my dad wants to celebrate my b-day with cake and presents, and I'm seeing a movie at Cinema 21 at 12:30 on Saturday.

I'm not sad about celebrating my 21st with cake and presents... it's just, it's like I'm still 12, getting cartoon DVDs and Steve Martin CDs. Actually, age 12, I'd be asking for Weezer merchandise or Jhonen Vasquez comics or something else I don't do anymore.

I went downtown today to see if I could get in anywhere after midnight. Ground Kontrol said no, and all the other bars were intimidating to me. I'm not even ready to be 21, or even over the age of 0, probably. I'm not ready for life. I need to have my hormones removed and live in a box where I make cartoons all day. Only then will I achieve anything.

I'd celebrate, but I'm just getting in everyone else's way and wasting my own time as well. My b-day just had to be at the beginning of the school year. In fact, I should really just focus on school and forget about everyone.

blah blah blah, yeah, I'm moping and feeling sorry for myself. I don't care, I'm done. I tried to celebrate, twice, and now I give up. I'm just not that guy. I'm supposed to live this way. I'm supposed to make alternative comics that hipsters read and laugh at and go "aww" at, while they screw eight people in their Hawthorne apartment while high on PCP, mescaline, and Laffy Taffy. That's not a code name for a drug, it's a candy. They'll put my minicomics in a shoe box next to their pile of Velvet Underground and Le Tigre albums, and a stray copy of Confederacy of Dunces, gathering dust.

Soon they'll throw it all away to switch over to whatever trend comes next, because it's almost 2010, and the fad has to die soon. It's been around since, what, 1998? You could go as far back as 1995 or something, since the whole pointless movement started out with retro kids who liked purple things and metal lunchboxes during high school. Those kids grew up and didn't change their ways. Or younger kids imitated it. Whatever. You could go back as far as 198?, when bad fashion was acceptable, but not really cool, contrasting with now, when bad fashion is cool to a lot of people, but not everyone.

What was I talking about?

I guess my point is that I only use LJ when I want to talk about things that normal people deal with in a more healthy way.

No, wait.

My point is that I'm feeling too sorry for myself to have any fun, and winter just hit, so my OCD, anxiety, and depression are all kicking in and making me hate everyone. Deep down, I love people, but I don't understand them, and when summer ends, I start to not care. I'm avoiding people. Large crowds and cute girls especially, but really all people.

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Wednesday, September 30th, 2009
9:23 pm - online, so why not
I'm logged into LJ, so why not do a post? Only half my friends will actually see this. Only two of them will actually read it. Maybe three.

I'm 21 in two days. When that day comes, it's straight to Ground Kontrol after 7pm. Will I get drunk enough on Pabst to strike up a conversation with a cute geeky girl?


Will I find love?

In a hipster video arcade? What are you, 12 years old? Of course not, you twit!

Will I at least get laid?

Dude. It's a video arcade.

That's the dialogue going in my head between Zach and Zach.

Other things in Zach's overactive imagination:

Hey, a 21st b-day where I go bar hopping and get free drinks and lap dances would be great! Until the stripper uses my low self esteem to hustle me and I get arrested and then my friends disown me and make me pay for all of their drinks... oh well, not all my friends are 21 anyway, so it wouldn't be fair.

Another one:

Hey, I should throw a party! I'll invite everyone! Wait, but Zandi/David/Cori's place is too small. Corey/Micah/Richard's place is too out of the way. What if the people I invite don't like eachother? What if they fight? It's not even my own house, it would be a disaster! I guess I should cancel... it would be a relief for everyone, I bet.

These go on and on and on and it's fucking annoying. This guy makes Woody Allen look like the Fonz, multiplied by Jimi Hendrix's guitar skills, coolness skills, and lady skills all combined...

Maybe I will strike up a conversation with a cute geek girl... even if she is just some hipster who doesn't know what a gigabyte is and is too drunk to see my Luke Skywalker mullet.

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Saturday, March 14th, 2009
1:00 am - Daria's Speech
At the end of Is It College Yet?, Daria gives this speech:

"Um... thank you. I'm not much for public speaking, or much for speaking, or, come to think of it, much for the public. And I'm not very good at lying. So let me just say that, in my experience, high school sucks. If I had to do it all over again, I'd have started advanced placement classes in preschool so I could go from eighth grade straight to college. However, given the unalterable fact that high school sucks, I'd like to add that if you're lucky enough to have a good friend and a family that cares, it doesn't have to suck quite as much. Otherwise, my advice is: stand firm for what you believe in, until and unless logic and experience prove you wrong; remember, when the emperor looks naked, the emperor is naked; the truth and a lie are not "sort of the same thing"; and there is no aspect, no facet, no moment of life that can't be improved with pizza. Thank you."

I think I might live by these statements. Of course, minus the parts about high school. It still works though. I mean, it makes perfect sense to me.

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Monday, February 23rd, 2009
5:54 pm - Education
Sometimes I feel like I need to focus on my education outside of academia. School is important, but there is much for me to learn outside of it.

I am still living with parents, and have no job. I don't care how bad the economy is, I'm going to search for a job, beginning at the end of spring term. I don't care if I don't find a job for two more years as long as I get one. I don't care how long it takes.

I need to learn what it is like to work an actual job. Not just working with kids at a summer camp, but dealing with weirdo customers and mean bosses. Okay, so in an ideal situation, I'd want to avoid those things, but what I'm saying is I need to grow up some day. I'm 20. I'm not planning on getting my own place until I actually have the money, and getting your own place is freaking expensive these days, but I need to do something, even if it all happens very... very... slowly... I just need to do it, you know?

I know people are busy, and my lj isn't really all that interesting to most people anyway, but I needed to have these facts up somewhere. Having these ideas repeating in my head doesn't do anything. Talking about it doesn't do anything. Writing about it on lj doesn't do much either. Actually doing it is what's important. But I guess having it written down and floating in cyberspace will give me the pressure to follow through with it.

There's enough reason to follow through with it, though. The fear that I will still be a child at the age of 30 motivates me to do what I can to grow up and get out there.

Of course, there's nothing wrong staying with parents for a while. I'm just really scared I'll lose track of time. I don't even really know what's out there.

This post has exceeded the limit of length for people to actually stop and read it. I forgot how LJ cuts work.

Anyone got any spare hugs?

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Tuesday, January 27th, 2009
3:17 am

Who wants to read this shit?Collapse )
Wednesday, December 17th, 2008
11:13 am - Capitalism's Bullies
Read this. Here's an easier-to-read article about it.

Are they the best pieces of animation on this planet? No. Are they treasured and remembered by people nation-wide? Yes. Rankin/Bass gave America such holiday specials as Rudolph, Frosty the Snowman, Santa Claus is Coming to Town, Jack Frost, Little Drummer Boy, and Here Comes Peter Cottontail. The latter was a childhood favorite of mine, and I watched it whether it was Easter or not.
They're also responsible for The Hobbit and Return of the King animated films that filled in what Ralph Bakshi didn't cover in Lord of the Rings (before Peter Jackson came along). And yes, they also produced Thundercats, which was a very popular Saturday Morning Cartoon of the 80's.

Okay, so I didn't watch Thundercats growing up. I'm a child of the 90's, and the only 80's cartoon leftover I got was Muppet Babies. But the problem at hand is that Warner Bros owes Rankin/Bass millions of dollars, and they won't give it to them because of "limitations," due to an "accounting mistake."


I think that's a little more than an accounting mistake, and I think they deserve their money, after giving America some of the most beloved animated specials, and also selling over a million copies of the Thundercats DVDs.

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Wednesday, July 2nd, 2008
11:03 pm - Worst. Birthday Present. Ever.
Check it out here. It's painful, but there's a reward at the end.

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Friday, April 4th, 2008
3:59 am - Heal Emru

Heal Emru!

Emru Townsend has been diagnosed with Leukemia, but is still going on with the show and updating his amazing website, FPS Magazine (or Frames Per Second Magazine).

I have not met him, but I talked briefly with his sister, Tamu, who was one of the nicest people I encountered at the Platform International Animation Festival.

Both Emru and Tamu have an undying love for animation-- anyone who reads FPS Magazine will know that. It is informative and unbiased, which is exactly what you need to see after reading Cartoon Brew, another great animation website, but much more overwhelming to read. Amid Amidi, one of Cartoon Brew's "Brewmasters" is a great critic, but a harsh one at times.

FPS Magazine is a great website, and Emru is someone who truly understands and loves the medium of animation.

So what can you do?

Join your local bone marrow registry, and tell everyone you know. You will not only be helping Emru, but thousands of others who need transplants. It also doesn't matter what part of the world you live in.

Visit the Heal Emru website for more information.

And if you haven't checked out FPS Magazine, do yourself a favor and do so, it's a great website and publication. I check it every day.

PS - If this is something you are physically unable to do, that is understandable. However, if you are afraid of donating bone marrow, you should seriously look into it, because there are a lot of myths about how the donation process works. In reality, to determine marrow compatibility, it can be as little as a cheek swab, or a blood sample. So look into it, please.

thank you

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Wednesday, August 22nd, 2007
6:05 pm - Unorganized thoughts...
This is totally unorganized.

I know no one reads this, but I have to get this out of my mind for now.

Mental illness is widely misunderstood. The term "mental illness" itself is misleading, causing people to think that things like Autism or Aspergers are "diseases," which is wrong. They are disorders. If someone has one of these disorders, they just act and think differently. That's all it is, and people with these disorders are often capable of living normal lives.

There is this really stupid idea that autism is some sort of epidemic. I saw this on the news, which I'm sure was just something they put together because they had nothing else to talk about.

Autism is not an epidemic, and it does not have a cure, nor does it need one. There will never be a cure, and any (good) psychologist or specialist will tell you that such a thing is impossible.

There are medications, but that's it. I'm not going to get into medication, because that's a whole different issue. And a controversial one.

I actually have Autism Spectrum, as well as A.D.D.. There are some who say these mental disorders are a myth. They also happen to be the people who don't do research or have the disorder themselves. Unless they themselves have the disorder, I advise these people to either shut up or do some research. Those who say they have a disorder but actually don't are a totally different problem. But they're a big problem, and part of the reason there are so many misconceptions.

There are people who have social issues, and people who have short attention spans, people who can focus on things for long periods of time, and there are also people who are just stupid. Keep that in mind. People can be one or more of those things, whether they have a mental disorder or not.

I think that's all I wanted to say. This is mostly a post for myself.

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Sunday, February 4th, 2007
2:55 pm - whoa, updatey thing
So I don't post much anymore... and neither do a lot of people. Last time I even mentioned LJ to someone was to Holly, who said she never had time to check hers anymore. And I don't either. And neither do most high school seniors.

So, I'm taking this chance to use LJ as a place to post my own ideas that I want to remember later, with a minimal chance of people actually seeing them. Sure, I could use the private security feature, but I don't make sense in the first place anyway.

So... I realized something. I realized that essays on animation are harder than essays for English.
And here's why:
When you write a paper for English, it is assumed that the reader has read the material (even if you yourself didn't read it and just looked at the Cliffs/Spark Notes). So, eliminating that part of the paper makes it easier.
Writing one of my capstone things involves explaining everything. If I explain why Chuck Jones or Don Hertzfeldt are geniuses of using holds, I have to explain what a hold is. Then I have to explain how animation works to explain that. Sometimes there is so much explaining within explaining within explaining that I get confused with my own writing.

Anyway, I realize now that I'm just writing the paper wrong... I have no idea why I decided to post any of this.

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Thursday, November 30th, 2006
3:13 pm
I have a new blog for less teen angst-influenced writing...

CheckeredGeek Cartoons

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Tuesday, October 31st, 2006
2:33 pm - Comedy SportZ Again
So, every year, I post on my LJ when my next Comedy SportZ show is going to be, but I always do it too late for anyone to see it or have time for it, and so nobody ever comes to any of them. At this point, I think the rest of the people there probably think I have no friends. Oh well.
I could advertise for it at school with posters and stuff, but then all I'm doing is advertising myself and a bunch of people who don't go to this school. It makes me feel weird.

Oh well, whatever, here's my next show: (WOOOO HOOOO)

Saturday Nov 4, 2:00 PM at Comedy SportZ (It's $5 per person)
It's on 19th and Kearney in Portland.

Uh oh... I reeeeeeally hope that isn't the same day as Julie's art show, because when ever I have a Comedy SportZ show or my birthday, there always seems to be something on the same day that I know people should choose over whatever I have planned. I mean, I'm just going to be making a fool of myself on stage for a couple hours. But Julie is going to have a show, and I mean, everyone knows Julie is one of the best artists at ACMA, there's no argument there. Her work is just amazing, and like all good art, it makes me cry. The only other artist whose art has made me cry more is Hayao Miyazaki (followed by Richard Williams, Frederic Back, Chuck Jones, and my own obsession with all the aformentioned people and many others).

Anyway, my point is...
If you can come to my show, that's great, because the bigger the audience, the better the show. But, if Julie's show is on the same day, by all means, GO! Go see Julie, because I'm going to have more shows after January, and Julie is just a great artist.

Um... wow, that whole thing was really dramatic, and odds are, Julie's show is on a different day. I mean, I intend to go if I can, so yeah...
Um... wow... dramatic...

I'm not crazy!
No, wait, I am.

I'm going to be Edward Scissorhands for Halloween tonight. That'll be interesting. Oh, and that means I have to shave. I don't want to, but Edward doesn't have a goatee! BAH

I'm done.

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Friday, October 20th, 2006
9:24 pm - Art School Crap
I want to go to art school.

I can sort of draw. I just don't try hard enough, and I need to do more of it. I need to draw whenever I can. The problem is drawing something and not being embarassed about it. Often times, I put away my sketchbook when I'm in public because I don't want them to see how much trouble I'm having constructing figures and faces and whatnot.

I want to try harder, I have to. I want to learn to draw and paint and I want to go to PNCA.

But I ultimately want to be an animator. I just have to do all this other shit first.

My dad is being really helpful in getting me an internship at Laika (it's an animation company). Maybe it will actually happen.

Or something like that.

I think that's all I was going to say.

current mood: stressed

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Monday, October 16th, 2006
8:12 am - Today Is My Day?

Hello, folks. That is, if you read my LJ.

     I have decided to stay home today for several reasons:
1. I feel sick. (I should finish reading that comic someday)
2. I have work I need to do.
3. I need extra sleep.
4. I am a lazy senior.

     So, I am going to try to get work done today. Animators are supposed to work hard and I've been way too lazy.

     I thought this post would say more, but it's turning out to just be weird and incoherent.

     Anyway, thanks to Holly for telling me about Thief. Seriously.

     The point of all this is that I think I'm getting somewhere with this Capstone crap. My CDQ was awful, my research proposal was okay, but I think I'm onto something now. How about a website documenting my research and own animation projects? I think this is a good idea, although "net neutrality" does interfere.

     Anyway, I have work to do.

     And yes, Lily, you're right. I do talk about animation every other entry I post. I really am obsessed. Oh well.

By the way, there's no way in hell I'm spell checking this.

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Wednesday, September 20th, 2006
6:57 pm - Shit
I ate a fortune cookie today, and the fortune said that I would make good decisions today. It should be noted that this was a fortune cookie from the school cafiteria, which explains why the fortune was so full of shit.

Eating shit-filled fortune cookies is totally not cool.

On a less disgusting note, I love Lily to my death. Unfortunately, we will not see eachother for a year when she leaves for South Africa in late January (or early February, I'm not sure). I'm going to miss her very much. During this time, we're going to see other people, because a year is too long for our teenage minds and whatnot. But I'll always love you, Lily. I'm going to miss you so much when you leave.

Today, I said that my capstone project's central dramatic question should be "Why am I so creepy?" Then people told me I wasn't, and Ellie told me I was "endearing!" I had to look that word up though to make sure it was as complementary as I thought it was. I'm not used to that, you know. It's not often someone tells me I have the abilty "to become beloved or admired." (According to Marium Webster.)

People do think I'm creepy though. I mean, when I forget to shave for two weeks, that's kinda creepy. And I say really awkward things ALL the time. I mean, why would you not think I was creepy? I guess I'm just not creepy because I don't grab boobs, at least, not without consent. There are certain men at my school who will grab the breast(s) of one of their female peers, which is clearly innappropriate. Seriously, what the fuck.

I think I'm done now.

Thank you.

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Monday, September 18th, 2006
4:53 pm - Anger sakdjgk;sldg BAGSKAFHL:K326$$$&*(
I'm sorry this isn't in an LJ cut.

So it turns out that "Grendel, Grendel, Grendel" was not directed by Terry Gilliam, or as Alby refered to him, "the guy who did the Monty Python animations."

I think he corrected himself at one point.

Also, Daniel (not the religion-obsessed one, the other arrogant one who thinks he's amazing and corrects everyone on whatever they say) thinks stop motion animation is cool and he's gonna do it because he thinks he can do everything. Like a few years ago when he said he could make a movie because he knew "what shots look good."

It was like he'd rather just automatically know everything instead of being curious or learning. He wasn't logical.

I think people assume things a lot. I think people don't want to have to work hard, but at the same time, they want excitement. And I think that people don't want to work hard, but they might want other people do something that takes more effort than they themselves, or anyone for that matter, are capable of.

People want excitement...
but they also want it easy.

Who doesn't...?

I don't mean to generalize, and I know that I'm guilty of at least a few things I just mentioned. I just think that the way we live, surrounded by advertising and reality TV and other random crappy media, we get the idea that life is a certain way. Some of us interpret it differently, but it's still coming from the same source.

I know people who have gone most of their childhood without TV, and they are the most interesting people with the most interesting view of life. Totally unique. Perhaps they don't know about a few things, a few social trends or phenomena. But who cares? They may not be exposed to popular culture, but they're exposed to culture of some sort. It's a beautiful thing, culture. You can be totally naive of it and still love it. Maybe you can't understand it yet, but you appreciate it, and you love it. Like my relationship with jazz. I love jazz. I can't play it, I don't understand it, but I love it, and I appreciate it.

I watched a lot of TV when I was little. My mom didn't want me too, but she couldn't stop me, and my dad didn't care one way or another. Of course, I latched onto the cartoons, and nothing else. I remember I would rarely watch anything that was live action. I might change the channel and look for another cartoon instead. Cept for "Salute Your Shorts," I loved that show. Course, I didn't have cable that long, which is good because cable is a waste of money.

I feel like it's 9th grade all over again, because I'm suddenly discovering again how stupid people can be. I know a lot of smart people, but I see a lot of stupid ones too.

Why do people only want to posess physical things and not posess something substantial. Something mental. Knowledge. Not something you learn in school, or maybe it is, I dunno, but something that stays with you and makes you understand the world better. Nobody wants that. We just want to get our drugs, our sex, our video games, our alcohol, and then die. Kids want their toys, teenagers want their gut-busting orgasms and weed from Germany. Meaningless desire.

As if adolescence isn't enough grief, we had to go to school too. Remember that? And maybe it's still not over yet.

My thoughts here are random, and I'm not going to re-organize them or even spell check them.

Not because I don't want to, I just don't have time, because I have to take the dog for a walk before my dad gets home.

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Wednesday, August 23rd, 2006
6:00 pm - grendel
I tried to find info on that Terry Gilliam movie that Mr. Albertson told us about called Grendel, but I couldn't find anything.
Then I found this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QKym_sb0pw0
Mr. Albertson needs to see it.

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